


You're The Tremble In My Hands And The Blood In My Lungs

by MogmaMittens



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sparring, Stabbing, actual nurse leo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-06-10 17:45:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6966970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MogmaMittens/pseuds/MogmaMittens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It'd almost be funny if Leo wasn't fucking <i>horrified. </i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was a muddy Spring day when Niles decided to go and impale himself on a sword.

 

He'd make a joke out of it, if he weren't in so much pain.

 

It wasn't as if he did it on purpose, or even that anyone _stabbed him_ , not really. Not with _intent._ The blood was all on Leo's hands, if you wanted to be more or less literal about it.

 

They'd been sparring – and it wasn't even as if it wasn't something they did _irregularly,_ like they were _out of practice –_ they did it _every damned day_. When they were in war, it was more of a coping mechanism than anything, and now it was – _was_ – just something they found calming. An activity that required nothing more than two swords and your wits. It was great.

 

That was, until they decided to fight right after it had rained.

 

“It's fine, milord. A little _dampness_ never hurt anybody.” Niles had said, handing Leo his sword. It was long and forged of steel, glinting in the sunlight. A beautiful sword, as long as anyone was concerned.

 

“Ah, there it is. I was wondering where your sense of humor had gone,” Leo replied, pulling a handkerchief from one of his pockets and wiping down the sword. “I was nearly worried it had blown away with the rain clouds.”

 

They walked side-by-side through the courtyard, neither of them armored. They knew each other's fighting styles well enough by this point that there were hardly any surprises, and armor became unnecessary a long time ago. At this point, it did little but slow them down. They took position on opposite sides of the lawn, facing each other.

 

Niles unsheathed his sword, waiting for Leo to do the same. “Well? Ready your sword! Or have you changed your mind?”

 

“That'd be the only way you'd win, I'm afraid.” Leo held his sword straight in front of him, pointed at Niles' chest. “Are you ready?”

 

“On three.”

 

“One.” Niles took a deep breath, focusing his energy on his sword hand.

 

“Two.” Leo twisted his hips so they were in proper alignment, his feet settling in slightly different places.

 

“Three!”

 

They immediately danced into battle, swords clanging and cutting through the air. Niles narrowly avoided a blow to the shoulder as Leo avoided a stab to the gut. The ground's stability was uneasy at best, and they could both tell, slipping and sliding to their own advantage.

 

Then, it happened.

 

Niles' boots skidded in the mud, propelling him forward, and... right onto Leo's blade.

 

It'd almost be funny if Leo wasn't fucking _horrified._

 

There was a sickening squelch, then a crack as the sword pierced his descending body. Niles dropped his own sword to the ground, the thud echoing loud in Leo's ears as it landed in the grass.

 

“Niles...?” His voice was soft and afraid, shaking like a leaf as Niles slid further down onto the sword. Eventually he tumbled forward, Leo reaching out to steady him as he fell to his knees.

 

There was so much _blood._

 

“ _Medic!”_ Leo threw an arm up, looking around frantically for whoever was on duty. They had to be _somewhere._ They _had_ to. _Where were they?_

 

He dropped to a crouch in front of Niles, paying no heed to the crowd forming around them. Leo reached out with trembling hands, cupping his jaw, brushing the hair from his face, dragging his thumbs down his cheekbones. His face was contorted in pain, eyes darting between staring into the distance and Leo, sweat rolling down his cheeks.

 

“ _Medic!!”_ Leo tried again, voice shrill enough to break through Niles' ringing ears.

 

“Don't trouble yourself,” He coughed, blood coming out in thick, disgusting globs and landing in the grass. “I've had far worse.”

 

“Now is _not_ the time for this, Niles.” Leo said, voice hard. Niles' rickety breathing was all Leo could hear; it encompassed his senses. There was blood dripping down Niles' chin – likely from a lacerated lung, Leo's mind supplied – and he couldn't stop coughing. “Where _are_ they?”

 

“They aren't coming.” Niles laughed, trailing off into a whine. “Leo, do you see them coming?” He wheezes, “They decided I wasn't worth saving.”

 

“ ** _Medic!!”_** His voice broke as he stood, blood dripping from his hands as he raised them, gods, it's all over his _knees, all over everything..._

 

He's yelling the word over and over again, waving his arms around like a madman. Where are they? _Where are they?_

 

“ _Leo.”_ Niles was sitting on his feet then, all his energy going into keeping himself upright. He couldn't let Leo see him on the ground until he was gone. “Leo, _listen to me._ ”

 

“I refuse to listen to you talk about how you're dying.”

 

Niles took a moment to muster up the will to speak, his vision going blurry. He was losing too much blood. “I love you.”

 

Leo choked on a breath, tightening his fists. “What did you say?”

 

Niles gives a near indiscernible shake of his head, eyes half-lidded as he looks up at him. “L'v you.”

 

Leo drops to his knees, eyes wide and unreadable. “You need to make it through this.” Niles' balance was wavering, and Leo gathered him up into his arms to make it easier on him, careful to avoid the sword – he didn't want to damage anything else. Someone – a soldier – tapped Leo on the shoulder, leaning down to his level.

 

“The medic on duty is busy with someone else right now, sir.”

 

“Then get _another damn medic._ ” Leo hissed, holding Niles close to his chest. The soldier nodded and scurried away, running into the castle to find 'another damn medic.' He hoped to the gods someone found Elise and brought her out here, for everyone's sake.

 

“Will you kiss me?” Niles slurred, tongue heavy with fatigue.

 

“Kiss you?” Leo asked incredulously, “You're bleeding out, and you want me to kiss you?”

 

“Might not get another chance.” He snickered, head lolling to the side. Leo's heart dropped into the pit of his stomach when the realization strikes him that, no, he might _not_ get another chance.

 

No more Niles.

 

No more filthy humor.

 

No more humid mornings spent lazing around in their tent, sharing stories.

 

No more late nights sitting together after one of them had a nightmare.

 

_No more Niles._

 

Gods, Odin was already gone, he couldn't lose Niles as well.

 

He was positive he jostled the sword a bit when he took Niles' face in his hands and kissed him, but Niles didn't seem to mind, his mouth mirroring the motions lazily. Leo pulled back and Niles gave him a bloodstained smile and he returned it tearfully, his thumbs coming up to run over Niles' cheeks. “I'm not sure it's going to be alright.”

 

“Chin up, Leo,” Niles said, voice weakening. He was going to pass out soon. Leo wasn't sure how he hadn't already, the pain must have been immense. “Always, 'm a sucker for cherry red lips and a sad smile.”

 

“I love-” Hands grab at his shoulders and pull him back, a medic _finally_ showing up to tend to Niles.

 

“Get back, Lord Leo! Do you _want_ him to die?”

 

“Can't you treat him right here?” Leo tightened his grip on Niles, only to regret it immediately when he lets out a pained gasp.

 

“Just can't... can't let me go, can you?” Niles grinned up at Leo, his eyes unfocused. “Let him treat me.”

 

“But... I don't...” _I don't trust him. I want Elise._

 

“You must.”

 

Releasing a slow breath, Leo rested Niles down on his side where the medic can get to him.

 

“I swear to you, he'll be good as new before you know it!”

 

Leo let out a pained sigh, smearing blood over his face as he wipes his tears away, crawling backwards to sit on a patch of clean grass.“He'd better be.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch me at my [ tumblr ](www.alista1r.tumblr.com/) or talk to me at my [ twitter!!](http://www.twitter.com/ni1eo) (i bet u thought this was gonna be porn HA HA HA)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Can _I_ kiss _you?”_ Leo asked, full well knowing the answer before Niles could really reply.

The mud had dried to crumbly silt by the time Niles woke up.

 

He was somewhere familiar – his room, he realized – when the haziness of several days' rest cleared out of his mind enough for him to think. He was breathing at the very least, although it hurt. He's shirtless, he noticed, his torso sticky with something like dried blood or one of Elise's salves. His head hurt, the sun filtering through the window feeling more like a dagger plunging into his skull than what it really was, and he felt in desperate need of a shower. His limbs were lethargic, almost painfully so, his left arm heavier than the other.

 

Which was odd.

 

Why was his arm heavy?

 

Summoning enough energy to look down (a rather challenging feat, Niles will have you know), he noticed a pale, cool hand inside his own.

 

_ That _ was a new one.

 

His heart skipped a beat (or five) when he realized it was Leo, and then his mind took him a step farther and realized they were  _ holding hands;  _ he'd be nervous if he had enough energy to do anything other than make his lungs work and his fingers twitch.

 

Leo was leaned over the bed, his head pillowed on the arm not occupied by Niles' hand, his eyes shut. He was snoring softly, hair spread out over his face and forearm. He looked tired -- more tired than usual -- his face gaunt and pale. Niles took a slow breath, his throat angry and dry. He needed water.

 

“Leo,” he rasped, throat aching. He felt a pang of guilt and regret when Leo stirred, the grip on his hand tightening as he awoke. Sleepy, dark-ringed eyes looked up at him, blinking slowly, then faster as they recognized what was happening.

 

“You're awake?” He asked, voice tentative and worried. “Niles?” He nodded in reply, his throat too trashed to form a proper sentence.

 

“Water?” He smacked his dry lips, as if willing his saliva to  _ work, damn it,  _ eyes unfocused as he looked up at Leo.

 

“Of course! Of course.” Leo stood, perhaps a bit too quickly, pulling his hand from Niles' and resting it against his own forehead, stumbling around a bit as he gained his bearings.  _ That’s curious.  _ Once the dizzy spell had passed, he turned, making his way to the basin across the room. “You've been out for days. They didn't know if-  _ when  _ you'd wake up,” the sound of Leo toying with the water basin in the corner would have made Niles' mouth water if it weren't so dry, his head laying limp on the pillow. He heard hurried footsteps and then Leo's hand was beneath his head, tilting it forward as the lip of a cup was pressed to his mouth. “Here, this is just water.”

 

Niles drinks it greedily, a bit of water running down his chin. Leo clicks his tongue and takes the glass away, combing the hair back from Niles' forehead. “Not so fast, or else it'll all be coming up later.” He brings the cup back to Niles' lips, who looks at him skeptically for a moment before taking slow, deliberate sips. “That's better.” Leo sounded relieved already, his shoulders visibly relaxing when the glass is empty.

 

“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?” He lays Niles' head down again gently, making sure not to jostle him too much. Niles stares up at him for a moment, gaze hard.

 

“I apologize for abandoning you these past few days, milord.” Leo looked taken aback, his eyes grown wide. “Have you been taking care of yourself?”

 

“Niles,  _ I  _ should be the one apologizing. I nearly  _ killed  _ you.” He made a point to avoid the question as he put the glass down on his bedside table. “Do you feel up to sitting up? We need to change your bandages.” Niles nodded and tried to sit, getting halfway up before dropping back down onto his back. He sucked in air through his teeth at the pain surging through his stomach, his spine arching upwards and away from the bed. Leo worked quickly to soothe him, a cool hand running down his chest and rubbing circles into his skin; his other hand pressing to his shoulder to keep him still.

 

“Shh, shh... slowly, with me now.” Niles braced himself as Leo slid a hand beneath his upper back, helping him move up to a sitting position. Leo leaned some pillows against the headboard and removed his hand, letting Niles sit back. “Is that better?”

 

“Yes, milord. Thank you.” His head lolled off to the side as Leo cut open the bandages, his muscles tensing as he ran a cold cloth over his wound.

 

They were silent as Leo cleaned his wound, exempt for the sound of the washcloth returning to the water and then being wrung out once more.

 

“Why did you ask me to kiss you?”

 

Niles' muscles tensed, his eyes snapping open at the question. “I didn't-”

 

“Right before you passed out, you told me you loved me, and then asked me to kiss you. Why?” Leo's hand stilled on his stomach, fingers tense on the cloth. He was staring at Niles intently, as if he were waiting for him to say something very specific.

 

Which he was.

 

Niles looked up at him, defeated. “I'm afraid that's because it's true, Lord Leo.”

 

“Ah.” Leo was unreadable, going back to work cleaning his stomach. “Is it wrong to be glad you didn't tell me sooner?”

 

“Milord?” His heart was beating at a hundred paces a minute, his stomach tense under Leo's touch. He was about to be fired – or  _ worse _ – and Niles wasn't prepared for that kind of confrontation.

 

“Relax, Niles.” He smoothed a hand up his chest, thumb sliding into the dip of his collarbone. “I'm only saying that I'm... unsure of how I would have reacted.” He looked away, “I may have behaved shamefully if you had told me sooner.”

 

“And how would you react now?” The hand on his chest drifted up his neck, cupping his jaw line.

 

“More positively, certainly.” The hand slid into Niles' hair, fingers getting caught on the tangled strands. He inhales deeply and, as if broken from a trance, he pulls back and begins dressing Niles' wound. He said nothing else while he prepared the bandages, his fingers massaging salve into the stitched wound.

 

“I've had a lot to think about while you were asleep, Niles.”

 

“Oh?” Niles replied, voice weak. He hoped his face didn't betray the panic he felt inside at Leo's gentleness with him. His hands were just…  _ so soft.  _

 

“For one,” He urged Niles forward, the bandage coming around his back for the first time. “I thought about what you meant to me. How much you meant to me,” he clarified. Around once more, and Leo was silent, lost in contemplation. Around again, and he continued, “Who you were to me. Of course, you  _ are  _ my retainer. This would grant that we would be... closer, than most people. However,” A fourth and fifth time around, then he tied a knot in the gauze so it wouldn’t shift. He took a deep, grounding breath, moving so that he could better look into Niles' eye. “Never before have I wanted so strongly for someone to live.”

 

Niles couldn't speak, his throat shut and stomach a mixture of pain-pleasure-pain that he'd learned to associate with Leo.

 

“This isn't exactly the most opportune moment for a confession, is it?” Leo sighed, easing Niles back onto the cushions.

 

“I didn't exactly confess at the most convenient moment either, milord.” Niles yawns, settling back into the mattress.

 

Leo gave him a smile at that, “I suppose you didn't.” He left to drop the cloth into the water basin, mumbling to himself about asking someone to change it later. He returned to find Niles' head rolled back into the pillows, his breath coming slowly. Was he  _ sleeping? Already? _

 

“Niles.” Leo grabbed him by the arm and shook him, just enough to rouse him back from sleep. “Niles, I have a question.”

 

“Mm?” He blinked up at Leo slowly, eyes bleary. “What do you need, milord?”

 

“Can  _ I _ kiss  _ you? _ ” Leo asked, full well knowing the answer before Niles could really reply. Niles grinned at him sleepily, shaking his head “yes.” Leo was on him lightning fast, pressing his lips to Niles' before he could even process what was about to happen.

 

It was warm when he figured it out, though. Tender and chaste against his mouth, the bit of stubble that's grown on his face rubbing against Leo's smoother one. His lips responded slower, sluggishly keeping up with Leo's hurried pace. He was  _ worried,  _ Niles realized. Worried that he wouldn't live? Worried that he'd lose his retainer? It didn't matter to him, Leo was  _ worried.  _ He felt heat blossoming from his chest, radiating out into his limbs and making him feel fuzzy everywhere.

 

Their lips smack together one last time before Leo pulled back, his eyes opening slowly. “Thank you.”

 

Niles offered him little more than an exhausted smile before promptly passing out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive had this done for like 3 days i just didn't wanna edit it lmao
> 
> talk to me on [twitter](www.twitter.com/ni1eo) or send me more prompts at my [tumblr!! ](http://www.alista1r.tumblr.com/)


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